Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be? (link)

I’ve come to believe that all of my problems are, in some sense, caused by me. All suffering is caused by desire, as the Buddha teaches, and I think there is great truth in that saying.

Take my job (please! [cue rimshot]). That’s something I seem to be complaining about constantly: I don’t like the way the boss treats me, I don’t like the way some colleagues treat me, I don’t like the way I am rushed in preparing for classes, etc. But there are an awful lot of “I’s” in those sentences, which always gives me pause.

Am I really treated poorly, or do I desire to be treated in a certain way? Am I really too busy to prepare for classes, or do I have a desire to be lazy and wait until the last minute to do my work?

I get caught in what I want, what things should be like, that it makes dealing with the here and now and real difficult. By focusing on what is, not what we want, we can better deal with the crap that comes our way.

Mess up your hair. If you are wearing makeup – smudge it. If you have a pair of pants that dont really fit you – put them on. Put on a top that doesn’t go with those pants. Go to your sock drawer. Pull out two socks that don’t match. Different lengths, materials, colors, elasticity.

Now two shoes. You know the drill.

Need to add more? Ties? Hair clips? Stick your gut out? I trust you to go further.

Take a picture.

Get ready to post it online.

Are you feeling dread? Excitement? Is this not the image you have of yourself? Write about the fear or the thrill that this raises in you? Who do you need to look good for and what story does it tell about you? Or why don’t you care? (link)

Posting a funny picture of myself doesn’t scare me. If I did something like this, it would obviously be a joke.

What scares me is what people see when I am trying to be me, to be normal, to be respectable and what not.

I know that I am not supposed to care what others think of me, but we all know that’s crap. Of course we care what others think of us. And there are, of course, certain people that we ESPECIALLY care about what they think of us.

I think my students love me. I had a bit of a following last year amongst the freshmen, to the amusement of some (myself included). They obviously see something in me that is good and noble. Why else follow me around? Why else insist that I come visit them in a foreign country and stay in their house?

But then I think of some of my friends and colleagues. We might speak and hang out during the year, but then everyone scatters. I try to meet with people during the summer, but people are busy or (more often than not) never bother to respond. One person in particular does this, and I wonder why I even bother to try and establish relationships with these people.

Heard some good advice the other day: be interested in the people that are interested in you. It was in the context of dating advice, but I think it works outside that as well. There’s another guy in particular that usually “bugs” me into hanging out with him. I’m trying to reciprocate as much as possible, but I still run into that fear of being rejected, even when the person is “interested.”

Oh well. It’s still some progress, I suppose.

Imagine your future self, ie, you 10 years from now. If he/she were to send you a tweet or text message, 1) what would it say and 2) how would that transform your life or change something you’re doing, thinking, believing or saying today? (link)

Tweet/text:
The winning lottery numbers for tomorrow are…
Go to ___ and say hi to the young lady wearing ___…
Your boss is going to call you in his office on ___; DON’T SAY ___…
Because you never gave up, you are a better teacher now.

2) Just the fact that I am still around in 10 years is nice. That last “text” is the most serious one; I think that would help me relax and put my relative inexperience into perspective; I’m not a perfect teacher, I won’t be a perfect teacher, but I am getting better after every experience.

Write down a major life goal you have yet to achieve or even begin to take action on. For each goal, write down three uncertainties (read: fears) you have relating to each goal. Break it down further, and write down three reasons for each uncertainty. When you have three reasons for your fear, you’ll be able to start processing the change because you know where the fear stems from. Now you’ll be able to make a smaller changes that push you towards your larger goal. So begins the process of “trusting yourself.” (link)

1. Complete the Way of St. James
A. I am not in good physical shape.
1) Would the journey be too demanding for me?
2) Would I know how to do proper nutrition on the road?
3) Would I have adequate facilities to take care of myself?
B. Timing.
1) Do I have the vacation time to walk it?
2) What would happen if I needed to extend my stay?
3) Could I do it in the season I would want to do it?
C. Logistics.
1) What do I do after I arrive?
2) How do I find my trail?
3) What’s the best way to get to and from the Cathedral?

When did you feel most alive recently? Where were you? What did you smell? What sights and sounds did you experience? Capture that moment on paper and recall that feeling. Then, when it’s time to create something, read your own words to reclaim a sense of being to motivate you to complete a task at hand. (link)

I was visiting the local house of Communion & Liberation. My Italian students had invited me to an Italian dinner with their Italian mentors, and who can say no to real Italian food with real Italian wine?

We ate, we talked, we sang. One of the interesting things about C&L is that their conversations are never banal, they always aim at truth and understanding. My students shared some thoughts about the year they had; I shared some thoughts about what I thought of them.

It was not overtly religious; C&L doesn’t act that way. But I remembered what Jesus said in the Gospels about a few gathering in His Name.

Why did I feel alive? Because I felt authentic. There was no need to hide with these people; they loved as true Christians ought. I felt that I could be myself and not worry about being judged unworthy.

In other words, there was communion, and there was liberation. It was wonderful.

Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.” (link)

The burned-out, passionless teacher: continue to teach only what I love. If my school wants me to do anything else, that means that they don’t want me. In that case, find the school that wants me as a teacher, not just a teacher. Continue to be a friend to the students, but remember that you are primarily their teacher. Don’t let their emotions and reactions determine mine.

The hopeless, scattered one: Mass everyday, NO MATTER WHAT. Visit the Blessed Sacrament, for a few minutes at least. Holy Hour once a week. Read one chapter of one book every day, but “fun” books only. Journal daily.

The lonely one: seek and MAINTAIN connections. Disavow those who cause pain instead of happiness. Ignore those who ignore you. Try very, VERY hard to love everyone.

What if today, right now, no jokes at all, you were actually in charge, the boss, the Head Honcho. Write the “call to arms” note you’re sending to everyone (staff, customers, suppliers, Board) charting the path ahead for the next 12 months and the next 5 years. Now take this manifesto, print it out somewhere you can see, preferably in big letters you can read from your chair.

You’re just written your own job description. You know what you have to do. Go!

(bonus: send it to the CEO with the title “The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters.”) (link)

[This could get me is so much trouble! Oh well.]

Dear Faculty & Staff,

It has been a trying time. With the recent departure of the entire administration of the school, I am thankful that so many teachers have stepped up and helped with the transition. I am also humbled that the new board of directors asked me to be the headmaster of this school.

We have a difficult task ahead of us, and the school has many problems to be addressed. With all of the changes in the curriculum, changes that cost vast sums of money and departure of some of our best teachers, I am loath to change the curriculum once again. It would not be in the best interest of the students nor of the school.

Thus, we will continue on the path that has been set before us. All teachers will be trained to at least Level 2 by the end of the year. All courses will have documentation showing conformity to the standards set forth by the external curriculum agency. Those teachers who fail to do so will be asked not to come back next year.

Our ESL program will be integrated with the rest of our school. No longer will international students be segregated from the general population of students. To facilitate this, no international student will be accepted who would not be ready, with some tutoring and oversight from the international student director and teacher, to enter into a “real” class at our school.

All students will be required to take four years of foreign language study: two years of Latin and two years of a modern language.

All students will take four years of science: chemistry, biology and anatomy, physics, and astronomy. No science class will be taught without some experimentation/lab component, so that students can discover how these concepts work outside of paper and chalkboards.

All students will be required to take two years of a fine arts class, such as art, photography, theater, or music. All fine arts classes will be true performance- and production-based classes; “history of art” is not the same as art.

All students will take four years of math: algebra (2 years), geometry, and statistics or calculus.

All students will take four years of history: two years of ancient history (prehistoric to the fall of Constantinople), and two years of American history. The courses will focus on research, especially research of primary sources.

All students will take four years of rhetoric and literature, according to the layout of the external curriculum agency, but focusing as much as is allowed on the great authors and thinkers of Western civilization. The courses will focus on writing and argument, especially through the reading of Great Books.

As much as possible, students will be encouraged to do the full degree program their last two years, producing their research project and philosophy paper and also engaging in at least 50 hours of community service, instead of merely earning certificates in all classes.

In terms of student life, there has been talk of requiring all students to play a sport or to participate in an extracurricular activity. Since most of the students already do, I think this is a moot point; perhaps we can revisit it at a later time.

In the only other administrative moves I wish to announce, our school day will now run from 8am – 4pm, while our school year will run the full 180 days.

Over the next five years, we will embark on a huge drive to build an endowment from the school. We will also research raising tuition, but by no more than the rate of inflation + 5%. All teacher workloads will be simplified as much as possible, and salaries will be raised to match state-wide averages. We will also work to shrink the student population a bit, to fit better the facilities that we have.

As a pipe dream, we will also begin to investigate moving into new facilities, but this is very low on the list of priorities.

Thank you, and good luck.

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I’m not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NYTimes best seller list or not write at all), and false investments in a story (it’s all been written before, I shouldn’t bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments in a story? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary. (link)

False Comparisons

I compare myself to other teachers, those who have taught for decades, and then I wonder why I can’t be as good as them. I read tons of blogs, and I think that I can’t add anything to the conversation. I read books, fiction and non, and think the same thing.

False Expectations

Because I only have a few page views a day, my blog is worthless. Because I can’t write a whole book, I’m rubbish as a writer. Because I can’t push myself to write everyday, I’m rubbish as a blogger.

False Investments

Nothing new under the sun, right? It’s all straw, right? So, why bother?

It’s hard to imagine that the day-to-day stuff is important, but I guess it is. If you can do something everyday for your entire life, that says something, no? But the motivation that is required, that’s my problem.

If you could picture your intuition as a person, what would he or she look like? If you sat down together for dinner, what is the first thing he or she would tell you? (link)

Part of me pictures my intuition as Russell Crowe from LA Confidential: rough, violent, but with a firm sense of right and wrong. If we sat down for dinner, he’d probably make fun of me for thinking so much, then he’d drink me under the table.

It’s a good image for me. Part of me usually wants to act violently against the bad around me. I could name a few people I’d like to tell off right now. But, we are supposed to be honest about our feelings except when we aren’t, and this is one of those times.

Who is one person that you’ve been dying to connect with, but just haven’t had the courage to reach out to? First, reflect on why you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting. (link)

Personal, or professional?

Plenty of people I want to connect with. I wouldn’t mind following Sir Ken Robinson around for a few weeks.

No, the person I really want to connect is She Who Must Not Be Named. And I won’t contact her, because I really shouldn’t.

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” is a great line from Emerson. If there’s no enthusiasm in what you do, it won’t be remarkable and certainly won’t connect with people on an emotional basis. But, if you put that magic energy into all of your work, you can create something that touches people on a deeper level. How can you bring MORE enthusiasm into your work? What do you have to think or believe about your work to be totally excited about it? Answer it now. (link)

I really do love teaching. There is a lot of crap that goes along with it, but being in the classroom, in front of my students, talking about stuff I like to talk about, is awesome.

Enthusiasm is natural in those moments. How do I get the enthusiasm to the other, less awesome moments?

Well, I always try to keep the end in mind. Whatever mundane task I’m supposed to be doing, I remind myself that it serves a higher purpose.

That’s the most important thing for me, importance. If I feel a task is pointless, I can barely do it.

It’s the same at meetings, ESPECIALLY meetings. Lots of talking, little action. Everything can be summed up in an email usually, but we have to have meetings because…

But things don’t need to be exciting all the time. I think that’s something I’m learning. Enjoy the awesome, get through the mundane. Repeat.

We live in a society of advice columns, experts and make-over shows. Without even knowing it, you can begin to believe someone knows better than you how to live your life. Someone might know a particular something better – like how to bake a three-layer molten coconut chocolate cake or how to build a website – but nobody else on the planet knows how to live your life better than you. (Although one or two people may think they do.) For today, trying asking yourself often, especially before you make a choice, “What do I know about this?” (link)

Fortunately, as a teacher on summer break, I don’t have many decisions to make. One thing that I am wondering is reaching out to others. I hate reaching out because that always gives someone the chance to disappoint you. You open yourself up to be hurt.

So I never do. And then I get lonely and depressed. But it’s better than being hurt, right?

Right?

I had a small job at the seminary that gave me some spending money; in ancient times, it would have been known as the doorkeeper, but nowadays we refer to it as the receptionist. I worked Saturday mornings, which as you might imagine was a slow time at a seminary. I would spend my time doing some homework, but mostly I read.

Two things in particular I read during this time period were very representative about how I was feeling: Chris Guillebeau’s awesome blog/manifesto “The Art of Non-Conformity” and “Strangers to the City” by Fr. Michael Casey, OSCO. Chris talks about traveling the world, being awesome, doing awesome things, and I think I feel in love with his ideas because I desperately wanted to escape. On the other hand, Fr. Casey discussed the Benedictine ideal, showing an influence of Eastern and Western spirituality that I found intriguing. He was discussing, perhaps, the exact opposite of what Chris was discussing, but ultimately I felt drawn to monastic life merely as another way to escape where I was.

After leaving the seminary, I began teaching again at the same school that I had started at two years before. It was incredible the difference one year can make, especially when the school is trying deliberately to change itself. I found an apartment, a small studio, and moved in, pretending that I could change the external circumstances of my life and thus change my interior happiness and contentment.

Whenever you change, there is an initial excitement that covers your spiritual despair; at least that is what I have found. I remember thinking of how great my life was: I went to Mass in the morning, went to a job that I liked, worked with people I liked, went to Holy Hour with the local religious community, went home and cooked some basic meal. It felt very monastic.

Soon, however, the honeymoon wore off.

I started having problems in school, dealing with others, dealing with the changes in curriculum, and dealing with being asked to do something that I felt was morally repugnant. This came to a head when the headmaster and the head teacher called me into a conference and explained my job was on the line.

Being me, this called for a time of reflection and contemplation.

I thought back on the year and recalled an odd conversation I had with a student. The student had taken an ESL transition class with me the first semester, and then had signed up for an English elective with me in the second. She had signed up for this class because she had wanted to be in my class again. One morning, as we were both working, she paused and looked at me. “Mr. Ambrose,” she said, “you don’t whistle any more.” I laughed a bit, but the comment stuck with me and I realized that I did indeed no longer whistle.

For those who know me, I almost always whistle something. I love whistling. Yet, as I thought about it, I couldn’t remember a time in the past six months when I whistled.

What an incredible symbol for the internal turmoil I was going through!

It was clear that as much as I wanted to say that I was taking a moral stand with my bosses, I was no longer the man they had hired. Eventually, we worked out our differences and I was asked to return the next year. I was told to go to a training session in London for the new curriculum the school was adopting. I went with some of my favorite colleagues, and we had a “brilliant” time.

One of the teachers, an older woman I admire greatly, told me that the next year would be the Year of Denis. She knew to some extent that crap I was going through, more than I thought possible or understood at the time.

As always, the new school year began with great hope and excitement. I chose to keep my head down low for the most part, not sticking my neck out, doing what was asked of me quietly and purposefully. I had great success in some of my classes and clubs. The freshmen declared me their favorite English teacher, while at the same time declaring me the hardest. Mock Trial came alive and many new students joined. Even the softball team, which was a source of great anxiety the previous year, was enjoyable again. All in all, things seem to be going well.

Yet the readings started again. Not only was I still reading Chris’ blog, but I had started reading some others: Karol Gadja’s “Ridiculously Extraordinary,” Leo Babauta’s “Zen Habits,” “Vagabondish,” and Steve Kamb’s “Nerd Fitness.” All awesome people, all doing awesome things, and I started to feel the need to run away again.

At the same time, I was discerning and contemplating so much that I finally realized how utterly egotistical I am (how an essay explaining how I feel is not egotistical, I’m not quite sure). These two are not immediately related, but they are both important. Because of my ego, I wanted (demanded, really) that reality conform to me and my ideas of what reality is. As an example, when someone neglected to text me, I took that as a huge personal insult. My ego was so big that I couldn’t conceive a situation in which someone might neglect to contact me beyond that they acted deliberately to harm me.

I used to get incredibly angry at students and colleagues; anything that didn’t happen as I wanted it to was an affront to me personally. One of my clubs, mock trial, was competing, and some students decided to skip out of class and go out for lunch. They were late, and I was flipping out, enough that the headmaster told me to take some deep breathes. When they finally showed up, I didn’t say anything to them.

As they were competing, I began reflecting on why I was so angry, and I felt something snap (but in a good way!). I think it was my ego breaking. I suddenly felt very calm and happy, and I knew that they were just kids and they made a mistake. That was all.

This kind of snapping happened a few other times as well, all with similar results. I still take things very personally on occasion and can still get very angry with people, but these moments are becoming less. Instead, I am now experiencing moments of deep loneliness. It seemed that as I better understood my anger over the past few years, the loneliness increased and I began to want to run away.

This is where the impulse to travel, to vagabond, comes from. This is where the idea of just quitting and moving somewhere else comes from. This is where the idea of moving into a new apartment, a new city, to no city, comes from. It would be running away from the void in my soul, and I know now that I can’t escape it.

The anger, I think, resulted from the same hole. The world was imperfect, and I felt it without truly knowing it, and so I was angry, and I got angry at the imperfections in others and their ideas and actions.

Another example, this one more recent. There is a young lady with whom I thought I was getting along. Somehow, someway, I made her angry during the Walk for Hunger. For six hours she didn’t talk to me, and when I tried to talk with her, she did everything in her power to make me as uncomfortable as possible. Then she accused me of being unfriendly because I didn’t stick around after the walk. I was so very angry at her and her actions. I was able to resist the temptation to lash out, to attack her, and instead apologized for making her feel that way and promised to try never to do it again.

But then I started avoiding the church we both go to, not going to some of the meetings I like going to because she might be there. Finally, I saw her in church, a week after our argument, and I became furious. I was so distracted during the liturgy, obsessing, thinking how I would love to yell at her and reveal to her what she really is. And again, the moment of breaking. She is imperfect, I am imperfect, and that’s fine. Why be angry at her? If I did nothing wrong (and I don’t think I did), then there is no reason to be angry at her. If she chooses to be angry, that is her problem, not mine. Again, this is breaking the ego (at least I think it is).

The universe is not about me, it just is.

Jesus commands us to seek first the kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 6:33); but He also tells us that the kingdom of Heaven is within (Luke 17:21). Chasing dreams and fantasies will not be a source of happiness and contentment if the soul is not ordered properly. I could do many things, remarkable things, awesome things, but they will never make me happy. Indeed, it seems that enlightenment or holiness would be to do the ordinary, the plain, the boring, and to find contentment, to find happiness, to find God, in those things.

It would almost be easy to escape and do those remarkable things, to blog about them, to tweet about them; easier, but not better.

Part of me desperately wants to do something exciting, something awesome, something extraordinary; but I know, in my heart of hearts, that would not make me happy, that would not make me well, that would not make me whole.

And so I soldier on, just as all of us must do, “boats against the current.” There are things I can do right now to help myself, and I am trying to do them. But I am trying to care for my soul first of all, and this year, the Year of Denis, has been a great challenge and reward for me.

Deo gratias.

Trusting intuition and making decisions based on it is the most important activity of the creative artist and entrepreneur. If you are facing (and fearing) a difficult life decision, ask yourself these three questions:

1) “What are the costs of inaction?” I find it can be helpful to fight fear with fear. Fears of acting are easily and immediately articulated by our “lizard brains” (thanks Seth) e.g. what if I fail? what if I look stupid? If you systematically and clearly list the main costs of inaction, they will generally overshadow your immediate fears.

2) “What kind of person do I want to be?” I’ve found this question to be extremely useful. I admire people who act bravely and decisively. I know the only way to join their ranks is to face decisions that scare me. By seeing my actions as a path to becoming something I admire, I am more likely to act and make the tough calls.

3) “In the event of failure, could I generate an alterative positive outcome?” Imagine yourself failing to an extreme. What could you learn or do in that situation to make it a positive experience? We are generally so committed to the results we seek at the outset of a task or project that we forget about all the incredible value and experience that comes from engaging the world proactively, learning, and improving our circumstances as we go along. (link)

I mean, failure does scare me, but it’s so true that it probably wouldn’t be that bad. What would happen if I lost my job? It’d suck, but I’d find something. If I had to, I’d clean toilets. And then think of how focused I would be on writing!

Though perhaps that’s a little avant garde, the suffering artist.

I’m feeling good right now though. Like I could actually change. It comes and goes, but I like it when it comes.

Maybe someday I’ll change for good. God willing.

Write down your top three dreams. Now write down what’s holding you back from them. (link)

1. I’m not writing the first one. Too personal, makes me seem pathetic.

2. Writing. No voice, nothing to say.

3. Being some kind of academic fellow, making speeches, reading and writing lots, traveling and lecturing. See #2, not smart enough, not educated enough.

My favorite quote of all time is Alan Kay: ‘In order to predict the future, you have to invent it.’ I am all about inventing the future. Decide what you want the future to be and make it happen. Because you can. Write about your future now. (link)

I hate this question. I know exactly what I want, I think, but I am too scared/lazy/disinclined to go get it.

I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to be a saint. I want to be a hero. I want to inspire and to be inspired.

I don’t wonder if part of the problem isn’t that I have it pretty good already and that scares me. As a teacher, it’s not like there is a lot more I could do.

What scares me is that this is it, this is what it will be, and that’s that.

So, I keep going, boat beating against the current (as it were), not sure where I am going or when I will arrive.

Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t.

Can you remember a moment in your life when you had life in yourself and it was wholly strange and new? Can you remember the moment when you stopped walking a path of someone else, and started cutting your own?

Write about that moment. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, let the miracle play out in your mind’s eye and write about that moment in your future. (link)

I had a professor in college that used to say the way to feel immortal was to be awake when everyone else is asleep. I was reminded about that when I was waiting for my taxi the other day at 4:30am.

It’s not the quiet, though that’s important. It’s not the solitude, though that too is important. It’s knowing that you have somehow removed yourself from the normal cycle of the world. That’s when you feel immortal.

Life, at that moment of immortality, is completely available to you. There is nothing holding you to anything. It is a moment of total potential. What do you want it to be? Who do you want to be in that moment? It’s incredibly freeing.

Take a moment, step back from your concerns, and focus on one thing: You have one life to achieve everything you’ve ever wanted. Sounds simple, but when you really focus on it, let it seep into your consciousness, you realize you only have about 100 years to get every single thing you’ve ever wanted to do. No second chances. This is your only shot. Suddenly, this means you should have started yesterday. No more waiting for permission or resources to start. Today is the day you make the rest of your life happen. Write down one thing you’ve always wanted to do and how you will achieve that goal. Don’t be afraid to be very specific in how you’ll achieve it: once you start achieving, your goals will get bigger and your capability to meet them will grow. (link)

The highest thing I want is to be a saint, and a great one. And I want to lead others to sainthood. I want to lead a revolution, a revolt, be a folk hero, live in exile because my ideas of the truth are so dangerous that the powers that be can’t have me around.

I don’t think that’s what this prompt is asking, but tonight I realized that that is really what I want.

I don’t know about my goals. Live the Truth, and that’s it. Never give It up.

Never.

The world buzzes about goals and visions. Focus. Create a vivid picture of exactly where you want to go. Dream big, then don’t let anything or anyone stop you. The problem, as Daniel Gilbert wrote in Stumbling Upon Happiness, is that we’re horrible at forecasting how we’ll really feel 10 or 20 years from now – once we’ve gotten what we dreamed of. Often, we get there only to say, “That’s not what I thought it would be,” and ask, “What now?” Ambition is good. Blind ambition is not. It blocks out not only distraction, but the many opportunities that might take you off course but that may also lead you in a new direction. Consistent daily action is only a virtue when bundled with a willingness to remain open to the unknown. In this exercise, look at your current quest and ask, “What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing?” They’re always there, but you’ve got to choose to see them. (link)

The closest thing I have to a quest right now is my career. I’m not overly happy with things, but I do like teaching. I’ve often thought about getting certified in teaching English as a foreign language and then going on adventures abroad. There’s a program in Boston at a for-profit school that seems interesting. Getting a certificate is easy enough, and my experience should help secure a job.

Another alternative is using my experience and knowledge to become a DRE in a Catholic parish. Those jobs don’t come around too much, and it’d probably pay less and require me to move, but there would be some intangibles like flexibility in hours (to some extent) and becoming a member of a community.

And I suppose that I could finally overcome all of my problems, write an awesome book, and then live as a writer for the rest of my life.

Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself. How will you surprise yourself this week? (link)

This week, I will be going to a conference. I promise to talk to at least three new people at each social gathering. I will surprise myself by enjoying myself in a social situation.